Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
I'm like, not good at living.
Randomize
