There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
Well I just put wine in my tea
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
Randomize
