Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Randomize
