when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Randomize
