So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Randomize
