we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
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