So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
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