Too much gin, very little bucket
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
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