i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Randomize
