What a fucking waste of an outfit
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
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