woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize
