he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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