Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Randomize
