Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
Randomize
