My balls are so social today.
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
When did angry sex become our thing?
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize