I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
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