I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
Randomize
