Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
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