Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
honey bunches of taint.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
Randomize
