UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
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