Your dad touched me again.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
jump out the window naked night went bad
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
