goodnight i made you a song goodbye
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
Randomize
