my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
