So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
