i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
Randomize
