My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
