Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
