and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize
