I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
should my penis look like a turkey
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Randomize
