You're so nebulous sometimes
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
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