Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
