i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Randomize
