Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Randomize
