My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
We need to rekindle our bromance
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Randomize
