But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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