apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Maybe he injected his testicle?
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
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