i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
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