apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
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