turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
