I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
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