I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
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