There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize
