I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
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