He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
