She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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