who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
Randomize
