i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
Randomize
