lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Randomize
