just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
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