For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
Randomize
