yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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