It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Randomize
