you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
I have so many feelings about this burrito
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Randomize
