that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
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