You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Randomize