i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
How does it feel to date your dad?
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
Randomize
