I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
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