I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
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