You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
how does that bad decision feel?
Randomize
