Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
Randomize
