on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize
