i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
Randomize
