Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize