So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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