Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Randomize
