absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
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