You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Randomize
