Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
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