Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
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