At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
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