He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Randomize
